News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
