i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just threw up on my dentist
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
