did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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