if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
