Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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