I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
