12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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