After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
