Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
