I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
