I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
