I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
