He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
