Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
