So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
