the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
