i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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