I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
