I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
