that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
