you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize