YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i think my cat just said my name.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize