During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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