At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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