Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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