Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
