I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize