you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
