I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
