His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize