so explain again why im purple
no
I could make wine with my vomit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
