yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
