so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize