You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
