office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she looked like the before picture.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
