Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
