What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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