her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
