I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
