I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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