I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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