hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
