Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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