Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
