Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
