so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This baby is an asshole
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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