I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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