No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
