you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
