I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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