you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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