If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
