just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
