There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
