Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
