He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
