And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
