I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
