People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
