I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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