nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize