im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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